9.05 am - Nnggraowl. Pant pant pant - drools discretely whilst making Darth Vader noises from within work cubicle.
Billboard advertising, I love you! My daily drive to work just got a much needed incentive. From now till June 9th I shall be greeted each morning by a giraffe-height picture of Ms. Jolie's head in all her smouldering poutiness. Hubba hubba. How convenient that the billboard for Mr. & Mrs. Smith is placed along the crawliest section of Jln. Tun Razak.
10.25 am - Am wearing what I call my sex pants today. Discovered that the slinky material has an unfortunate distaste for fabric with any degree of slipperiness. Am therefore forced to sit prissily straight or risk sliding off my chair into an undignified lump. So much for the sex factor.
1.00 pm - Over this past weekend I learnt that 31 year olds should not slide down long twisty-tubey-tunnel things in a children's science centre when the standard-issue sack provided covers you only up to your waist. Doing so will result in much girly-screaming and skinned elbows. And disturbingly, a sense of having just been given birth to.
1.15 pm - Journalists who continue to say "private parts" should have their lips stapled. I mean their unprivate lips, of course. It's genitals, dumbass. Or, if you really must, "down there". Heh. Right. Say it with me...G E N I T A L S.
1.30 pm - Hate being on a diet. Sob.
1.45 pm - Back aching from trying to stop butt from sliding off chair. Note to self to not wear sex pants to work.
2.30 pm - Lunch food digested. Feeling sorry for self. Cruel cruel fats. How do people eat yong tau foo only for lunch?? Slivers of fish cake and fried air do not a full meal make.
2.45 pm - Flaky skin and itchy red bites on hairy legs are not an attractive look. Damn you, dunnowhat bugs from Cherating beach.
3.30 pm - Starvation setting in. Whimper.
3.45 pm - If only could be bothered to master Islamic Banking principles and relevant guidelines. Would earn piles of money being a consultant. Sigh. Daydreams, irrelevantly, about Angelina Jolie.
4.35 pm - "Teatime", declares saviour colleague. Am offered a stack of egg tarts, of which I coyly take only 1. Devoured in 2 bites. Regretfully imagines devouring another.
5.15 pm - Finally finished the one document I've reviewed all day. Sending off an email that will piss off business department colleagues. Guaranteed. Hee. Ooo, the power trip.
5.35 pm - Yahoo! Almost time to knock off. Back aching and stomach whining. Now to go home and parade sex pants.
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11 comments:
why are u on a diet? *shocked*
LOL First you confessed to owning sex panties (then clumsily blamed it on some poor girl) now you tell us you have sex pants - that you wear to work.
Straight men should not wear sex pants! BTW does the fabric mould sexily to your private parts/ down there/ genitals/ meat and two veg?
An oh, I'm not the least bit interested in shagging Ms Jolie but fucking 'ell, I think she looks blooooody good in that poster. Wonder if I can pull off the same look...
hyuk hyuk hyuk...if only you knew jay, if only you knew. heh.
methinks you should try doing one of your sketches of you leaning fetchingly against brad pitt. :)
biow - am on a i-eat-way-too-much-for-lunch-during-weekdays diet. wasn't it you who said that i look like i'm in the second trimester? hehe.
I pass by a similar billboard on my way to work too - Brad Pitt perks me up better than java :)
If you hate being on a diet, then don't! ;) Eat healthy, not eat less?
U got sex pants meh? Tat I gotta see! As for diet, hmmm...forget it! Eat and be merry!
Goat
a. - ah, but did you let go of the steering wheel and clap madly like a circus seal going oongg oongg ooong when you first caught sight of the poster?
goat & a. - must diet! diabetes runs in the family and i've got the classic spare (and then some) tire risk indicators. there are REAL buns in my oven! sob!
anyway, this is a cheater's diet. only applicable on weekdays! Am merry on the weekends. :)
just to make u jealous.. i'm one of the rare few who dun hv to worry abt what i eat.. heh.. but my paternal family tend to hv heart disease, diabetes and stomach/intestine failure.. :(
snowdrop's baking-addiction has led to many buns in more than one oven... not to mention cakes, cookies, puddings, brownies and the likes!
and biow, i know about the heart disease and diabetes threats... you mean i've got to add stomach / intestine disease to my list too???!! oh, and you forgot goiter and gout!
ohh.. ya.. forgot abt the gout!! *gasp*..
apa itu goiter?
not too sure... sthg about the thyroid glands bengkaking, so cannot breathe or swallow properly??
*ouch*.. let's eat healthily and hope we hv a better health!
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