Eons ago, I read the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. No fear, this is not going to be a movie-review post.
Being the literary ignoramus that I was then, the only things that stuck in my mind about the entire series are the cow-waiter who recommends his own tender rump at the Restaurant At The End Of The Universe and the fact that the alien, Ford Prefect, had one indispensable item during his extensive journeys – a towel.
This got me thinking. Since there is no such thing as a Purse of Limitless Money, if I had to pick one ordinary item to be my sole possession as a hitchhiker, I’d choose a bucket.
How do you use a bucket, let me count the ways!
1. Makeshift shelter for your head and shoulders when it rains.
2. Stores whatever items you pick up along the way – more efficient than being a bag-lady (tangent – what’s the male equivalent of bag ladies? Bag –gentlemen?).
3. Holds water for washing face and mandi kerbau.
4. Overturn, for a handy chair.
5. Overturn, for a handy coffee table.
6. Swing it as a weapon to defend self from perverted hitchhiker-picker-uppers or mad dogs. More intimidating than a stick, so useful.
7. Talk into it to make your voice all echo-ey. Pretend to be observing the science of soundwaves, if ashamed of being so cheaply entertained.
8. Attracts more attention and holds more money when you need to beg for change.
9. Acts as a float (if used properly) to save from drowning.
10.In times of desperation, use as a “net” to catch rabbits or cats for roasting.
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6 comments:
ah, and all I could think of was "poop collection"... but then, you would hardly want to use it thereafter for the other reasons!
btw, it's really annoying, a fastclick.net window pops-up with irritating smileys (previously dodgy screensavers) each time i access your site - anyone else has this problem? i've tried blocking it already, to no avail. and can't use a pop-up blocker in the office.
hmmm, i have been asked what item I would bring... answer: nothing! cos i would NEVER willingly hitchhike, darling.. and if i DID, the one thing i would LIKE to bring, is a platimum card - one i don't have to pay for when i return from my travels. BUT i have been told there is "no such thing as a Purse of Limitless Money". *GASP!!*
you are geli. when i said mandi kerbau i meant a clean kerbau. no poop in my bath water pls.
platinum card?? eeyer. so no imagination one.
I'd really have to go with Snowdrop on this - a credit card sounds like the single most practical item you can carry. And it takes up considerably less space than a bucket!
But if really cannot, then I'd say... facewash. I really, really cannot do without washing my face.
Wait, then I need moisturiser too, because my face flakes up without it.
But that's TWO items now.
So, credit card lah.
well, if i REALLY had to hitchhike and could not bring a credit card, i would like to have super-fast growing hair [ok, not an 'ordinary item' but indulge me]..
1) can cut and sell ala Jo from 'Little Women' - money would be useful for buying cleanser and moisturiser, if required
2) cut and weave into rope to climb out of treacherous places
3)self same rope can be used to catch a horse or other animal, rodeo style, or to cekik smaller animals for food
4) grow long long to cover self as blanket - you know i get cold when sleeping. hell, if its long and lebat enough, would not even need clothes
5) alternatively, cut again, and weave into blanket, sleeping bag, hummock, backpack, you name it!
6) if terhitchhike until the himalayas, can blend in safely with the yetis so as not to be perceived to be a threat to them, whilst at the same time serve to scare other predators away
7) since always cutting it for various purposes as above, the hair still ON the head would be always new, always clean, no need to wash!
ah, basic necessities of food, shelter, clothing all covered, with little perks too :)
jay - credit card - out! facewash n moisturiser - imagine having those two tubes in your pants pockets. so misleading..and a little bizarre. :)
see, if you had a bucket, you'd be able to carry your TWO items in the bucket and have a water receptacle when washing your face.
snowdrop - so creative! but, that's an ability, not an item. OUT! but i am inspired by your slightly freaky ability, so will write next post on it.
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