Jumping Over The Moon Can Wait

Today I had an email chat with a friend who’s overseas. Our conversations are always a hoot for me because we’d invariably end up tempting an outraged God to char us into sizzling oblivion with a well-aimed lightning strike or two.

My friend comes from a family of doctors. Father, brothers, sister. No use calling her house and asking for just Dr. Surname without full details of name, speciality and hospital. Exaggeration! Yeah, well, but not that far from the truth!

No less brilliant herself, she shocked many by shunning the boring white coat and flung on a coat of black wool with fabulous flair instead. “Baa Baa, get your own wool” she said, as she bounced over the Fence of Other People’s Expectations (“FOPE”).

And that is what I truly admire her for. Daring to live life on her own terms with a confidence that does an excellent job of hiding the self-doubt. With a razor-sharp mind and a quicksilver attention span, she’s tried and moved on from a multitude of choices within a time span that most people would have spent still listing out the pros and cons.

Now, the problem with said lifestyle principles is that sometimes, in living the life that your heart wants, other people’s interests/feelings get left in the dust. But I am not suggesting that this has not happened for my friend and neither is it for me to speculate on or judge. Not in this forum anyway.

It’s a delicate balance. So many of us remain within the enclosure, staring longingly at the horizons beyond FOPE. Wondering whether or not it's really possible for the cow to jump over the moon. Telling ourselves that we stay, be it in a job, relationship, location or marriage, because we don’t want to hurt whoever. Because it’s the practical thing to do. Because it’s safe.

My brother was trained as an architect. He isn’t one. Mum occasionally gets on his case for not sticking to architecture as a career and getting registered. I was trained as a lawyer. I’m no longer one. Poor mum and dad. No more bragging rights. Thing is, both my brother and I are happy doing what we’re doing.

It’s not that I love the functions of my current job. Bleh. The fact that I spend so much time here says a lot. What I do love, is the quality of life I traded the perceived glamour of being a lawyer for. Same salary, no brain required. How efficient is that??

I’ve always hated the favoured question of interviewers - Where do you see yourself in five years? Oh, the shock that accompanies my declaration that wherever it is, it’s certainly not as a partner in your firm.

No, I have no ambitions. Whether career-wise or even life-wise, really. I idly dream of being an academic or a house-renovator in Italy or even a bum in an as yet undecided city in Australia. But I’m not about to obsessively draw up five-year plans or keep saying “moving forward” to myself. Life is so fluid, you’re as likely to be greeted with a cowpat further up the road as to find a pot of gold.

Whilst I haven’t bounced over FOPE yet, I have been lazily testing the weight of that fence by leaning against it from time to time. I don’t weigh my actions today by what advantage they will bring me in the future. Despite my having come up with a million and one justifications for the actions I’ve taken in my life, the basic factor in making my next move has always been - I am never unhappy for too long.

As serendipity would have it (though you are nevertheless welcome to wonder “does Spot really have a job” or “how can one spend so much time online without getting fired?”), today I came across the speech made by Apple’s legendary Steve Jobs at a recent Stanford commencement ceremony. It’s quite short, so do read it. Here are some highlights.

“Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later… you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

I like this man.

But for now, I don't quite have the energy to even contemplate the fitness regime in preparation for that jump over the moon. After all, I'm not too unhappy yet.

Think I'll just keep the moon in sight. For now.