Thursday, June 23, 2005

Language

If language were liquid,
it would be rushing in.
Instead here we are,
in a silence more eloquent,
than any word could ever be.

from Language, by Suzanne Vega

I love words. It’s amazing how individual words can be strung together to form a concept with the power to convey information not only from one physical point to another, but from an age to another. How much history would be lost, if not for words to record it?

Take a little moment to appreciate that – the simple complexity that is the beauty of Language.

Regretfully, I hardly do any serious reading these days. Blame it on the shortened attention span brought on by the onset of old age AND the age of catch-phrases, sound-bites, executive summaries and sms lexicon that we live in today.

I’m glad I was forced to start reading at an early age. When we were children, Mum would make us practice our handwriting by, well… writing. Of course I had not a shred of writing flair then, so I took to copying passages from books. Or song lyrics, imagine that. That was how Mum and Dad discovered that I had been singing Take Me Home Country Road by John Denver wrongly - “take me home, to the place, I milo, West Virginia…”. Eeeek!

When we were knee-high, my brother was always buried in a book and therefore couldn’t be bothered to play with me. My complaints to Mum went unheeded and she’d tell me to go read a book too “like korkor”. Bah. The second child is always shortchanged.

So there you go - the origins of my vocabulary and command of the English language. I can’t think of a better gift from my family.

All through university, I refused to follow the advice given to me by my would-be employer. “Pick the easy subjects, even if they're not interesting. The point is to just pass!”. This, from the guy who would be hiring me the minute I graduated. Madman.

Being the cow that I am though, I chose subjects where paper-writing was the primary source of assessment. In my first year, for the “other faculty” component of my degree, my fellow Malaysians chose Bahasa Indonesia, Science and Basic Japanese, I chose Political Science, Sociology and Psychology. In the law component, everyone flocked to the useful subjects which unfortunately, were graded on exam-based assessment. I chose the useless (for law in Malaysia at the time) Criminology, Sociology of Law and my favourite, Medical Ethics. Paper after paper I wrote, all at the very eleventh hour, burning a supertanker of midnight oil. Such fun!

Those subjects opened my eyes to brain-sparking rush of engaging in intellectual discourse and the self-gratifying satisfaction of crafting an argument. It’s a time I look fondly back on today, as my brain slowly atrophies while I slay all manner of demonic creatures and monsters in my hot skimpy black Catwoman-like assassin suit. Diablo II, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t get sucked into it.

In 2001, I applied for admission to a Master of Philosophy distance-learning programme offered by the University of Glasgow. Medical Ethics, part-time. Why an MPhil instead of an LLM (masters equivalent of basic law degree)? Love of language. I wanted to write a bad-ass mind-blowing thesis, not cram for modules. Anyway, I got in, paid my RM2000 deposit, received the first assignment, wept, panicked and dropped out. Lost the deposit. Hwaaaa…sob.

Lesson learnt – it’s easier to study full time and work part-time than the other way around. Corporate law and thesis writing just didn’t get along. Didn’t help either that I just don’t have the discipline to focus on academia without the ivory-tower environment.

I still harbour the hope to be a real academic one day. Question is, when? The longer I delay, the less brain cells I have. The shorter the attention span. The tighter the spandex suits of my Diablo characters.

The deeper the roots.

I tell myself that it’s because I HAVE to stay here. Obligations to the parents, Mum in particular who likes to have her children within driving distance. What worries me though, is the voice at the back of my head that’s saying…Lazy lah.

Not too long ago, as I sent off an email to my mass-mail kakis, I noted the style in which I wrote emails. In typical rojak English, grammatically incorrect, Malaysian style. Exactly in the manner I speak, on a casual and daily basis. Not that it’s a problem, given that I can switch quite easily between a casual and formal style. Much like how I can switch between speaking with an Aussie-friendly accent and our everyday Malaysian way of speaking, as the circumstances require.

The problem is, having left Australia behind me for over 7 years now, I no longer am able to comfortably switch to the accent that I used back in Uni (except for the Aussie way of pronouncing “no” – they say “noi” – who can forget that??). Similarly, I was starting to find difficulty in writing creatively the way I did back in secondary school (for 1119 English). Bad enough, I was also beginning to stumble with my formal writing now that I had ceased practice in the legal profession. Ack! How lidat?

And so this blog was born. One of the reasons, anyway.

So far, it’s been mainly two kinds of writing styles. The katun one and the more hallmarky one. Maybe it’s time to start thinking of the academic style again. After all, it’s been good, so far, rekindling my love affair with language.

See howlah.

7 comments:

Biow said...

u not tiger meh? year end cow?

Bertha said...

I echo your sentiments about choosing the subjects you chose in uni. :)

I've always been a language nazi, so never took to the local English dialect. Not even in speech. Could be my training in writing, or the whole minor in English Lit thing (I was supposed to graduate in English Lit, but got seduced to the dark side, ie media studies - found the prospect of watching films and TV in lecture theatres more fun than reading 4 classic lit per week).

Upon graduation and postgrad studies, the force of the dark side grew stronger so I delved into more theory. Also all for language. So now I'm happily stuck in academia, with a degree that nobody appreciates or understands in Malaysia (media & cultural studies). And extremely rigid when it comes to how the English language is written and spoken. LOL

Anonymous said...

After reading all that, the thing that stuck most in my mind about your ponderings was - "noi"? Huh? Perhaps it's a Tassie thing...

Anonymous said...

I played that blasted Diablo game like mad back then. My sorceress was so kick-ass!

I find it hard to actually switch to the local dialect of English (as Bertha calls it), because inside I would be cringing like mad. I also can't bring myself to habitually accent my speech with lor,meh, or even lah (eventhough lah apparently has been made a valid English word) My teachers didn't teach me "lidat", they taught me good proper English

Karen said...

i love that verse :)
and now's as good a time as any to say "thank you" for showing me that songs oftentimes contain REAL meanings! i never really listened before. only heard the music.

lucky you, being allowed to read to your heart's content.. as you know, all my books were locked up in the car boot except during school hols, cos i read TOO MUCH, apparently! cis.

anyway, legal writing (yes, and casual email/sms writing) has totally screwed my normal writing style; have sadly accepted that i'll never write well 'normally' anymore.

and i think lazy or not, we'd BOTH be much happier in academia! now if only we could, hey.

Jay said...

When you said you were thinking of writing in the 'academic style' again, I hope you didn't mean 'for this blog'. Crazy ah? Afterwards I cannot understand then how?

I like your katun writing.

Now that I've stopped doing advertising copy -ack ptui!- blogging's pretty much the only outlet I have for creative writing. That's partly why I discipline myself to write something almost every day - I don't want to get too rusty.

That, and because I have just so many disgusting stories to share, of course.

:-p

Spot said...

biow - dear, i'm a tiger. spot's a cow. see the profile? the tiger is also very stubborn, like cow. lidatlor. heehee.

bertha - oooo, language nazi! *goose-steps and salutes*. my lack of capitalising at the start of each sentence must irk you no end! :)

apparently a university is offering a course on the Buffyverse, so really, the dark side is a whole lot more fun.

it's so nice to be able to do the stuff you like. i wanted to do psychology. when i got to uni i decided that i'd really like to be an anthropologist.

then i grew up and all i want to do now is lie down. :)

platinum - welcome, you! yeah, could be a Tassie thing. very ocker. "go" is similarly pronounced. also, eight = aight.

asmadi - i had a level 52 sorceress and a level 47 barbarian, but they kahwin lari when my hard disk died (purposely rojakkan my language to make you. heh.). now i have a level 49 assasin, hence the spandex.

my teachers didn't teach me "lidat" either...my lazy tongue did. heehee. i guess it's a matter of communication. i think Bertha would agree that having what is perceived as an "accent" (when one is merely pronouncing correctly) raises communication barriers. people tend to have an annoyingly small-minded habit of shutting out those who speak with an "accent".

for me, communication means using the most effective means to get the point across. when in the pasar, speaking like the fish uncle is likely to get you a fresher fish. :)

snowdrop - you hear the music, i hear the words, btwn the 2 of us, we've got it covered. muaks.

apparently you talked too much too...*takes cover*

hmm..i like how the legal style influenced my formal style, actually.

academia - maybe when i'm done lying down and you've gotten rid of your liabilities.

jay - you crack me up, oh purveyor of unconventional porn. copywriting...now that's something i always wanted to try. but i hate advertising people, so, cannot.