Mr. and Mrs. Smith is an all-round excellent movie that is educational, enlightened, entertaining and erotic. This review was brought to you by the letter "E".
Educational bits
1. Jennifer Anniston never stood a chance after this movie was made. Meow. Wives, girlfriends and, yes, even boyfriends, should never let their partners act in a movie with Angelina Jolie without also being present on the set at ALL TIMES. That’s why Melanie Griffith remains miraculously married to Antonio Banderas (watch Original Sin. Yum.). Sadly, it’s probably also why Mrs. Banderas felt the need to plump up her lips with enough collagen to fill Pamela Andersen’s left boob.
2. Ladies, forget cooking your way into a man’s heart. A rumpled white shirt, messy long hair and a “here, boy” look is all you need. You might also want to put on Britney’s “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. But skip the guns, broken glass and kitchen knives.
3. It is wrong to kill.
Mr. Smith: “I’ve been married before”
Mrs. Smith: “What’s her name and social security number?”
Mr. Smith: “No, you can’t kill her.”
Mrs. Smith: Grrrr…
Enlightened bit
4. Feminists, can you find a better role-model?
Mrs. Smith: “Why do I get the girl gun?”
Mr. Smith: “Wha..?! You gotta be kidding right?”
Mrs. Smith: “No.”
Mrs. Smith gets the boy gun.
Entertaining bits
5. Mr. Smith. See, I’m not that biased.
6. The car chase.
7. The tango scene. Smokin’.
8. The brilliant (yet slightly cheesy) final “dance”. Also smokin’, quite literally.
Erotic bits
9. Mrs Smith’s body. Yeowz. Such pouty goodness.
Ta-dah!
11 comments:
well done! *pats on head*
does that mean i can stop cooking? what about the laundry and ironing??
I'll be watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith tonight so I'll probably do a mini-review of that movie and Madagascar which I watched on Monday.
I shall add to the entertaining bits:
Mr Smith singing along to Air Supply's "Making Love Out of Nothing At All", and the look on Mrs Smith's face!
Mr Smith, at the final scene, saying "ask the sex question again". Mrs Smith looking somewhat exasperated.
LOL never thought you'd take the challenge seriously - or actually succeed (though you did cheat with a different 'meow').
And I think 'pouty' should have been in the list in the first place. Damn.
I really, REALLY want to watch this movie now.
Hi spot,
First time visitor here, linked from jay's blog.
Oh wow, I don't know what to say. You write extremely well. I know you write mostly to see your thoughts in words, yet it still provides pleasure and humour.
I will definitely add a link to your blog. And I'll be back often.
Write on, sister! (and i don't mean it in a gay way; it sounds better than just 'write on')
Derek
P/S You would be my first female blog link. ;P
snowy - er...i thought i did most of the cooking anyway? ;) Laundry & ironing score huge brownie points.
A. - yay, a real review!
Bertha - That Look!! how could i forget? the whole car chase dialogue was brilliant. my favouritest bit is the echoing of the tango scene in the final battle as a metaphor for the beauty and grace of giving in to expressing your true self.
Jay - how could i resist, upon the realisation that you'd left out "pouty" from your list!
Derek - welcome, and thanks!
"sister"? heh. that's a first. i understand the assumptions though.
do have a read (re, if you've already) of earlier posts entitled "People etc: Clarence" and "Masquerade" (somewhere in feb archives).
hee. as for anyone else who's wondering...really, does it matter? :)
I have just read Masquerade.
I have been doing it myself for so long that sometimes, i don't even know myself anymore. The mask has to come off one day, but that day has yet to come.
Though there is one less person to put on the mask for, since Saturday.
I hope you will find the answers that you are seeking one day.
"Living a day as yourself is better than thousands years of life, not your own" - Keny de Persia
Derek: I hate to burst your little bubble of sexual equality, but you STILL haven't got your first female blog link.
Oh well, it goes to show that those pheromones thingy do work, even in cyber-space. LOL
You can't blame me for not being able to tell anyway *pouts*
It proves another thing: sexuality is a continuum.
The search for the first female blogger link continues ....
zounds! what have we here...trust a post about the hot, very shaggable, sexy, gorgeous Ms. Jolie (who is openly bisexual, btw, mrrrowwwl), to stir up such curiousity about whether or not Spot is a cow or a bull.
*looks at profile picture*
hmmm...where's me udders?
i applaud you Derek, for having the courage to be true to yourself (will comment more abt your recent post on your blog).
you, and jay for that matter, may not necessarily be wrong. snerk.
as you say, there is indeed a continuum. i don't think it's one of sexuality though (after all, there is only a choice of either male bits or female bits to be sexually attracted to). the continuum is one of gender.
"man or woman? That question could never be answered as long as those were the only choices; it could never be answered if it had to be asked"
*toasts both the inner bimbo diva and inner sex-pants-wearing snag*
may we all be happy with ourselves!
In the end, I did not get to watch Mr and Mrs Smith, no darn tickets! :(
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