A Review: Clearwater Sanctuary Golf Resort

Where:

Somewhere in the boondocks of Batu Gajah, Perak. Here’s the link.

Getting There:

Exit the North South Highway at Simpang Pulai. It’s the last exit before the Ipoh Selatan toll coming from KL after a 2-hour (unless you stop for Baskin Robbins at Tapah R&R stop) drive.

What the website doesn’t tell you, which I’ll helpfully “share” here, is the directions from the toll. Turn right after you clear the toll. This will take you on the road to Simpang Pulai town. As you heave a sigh of relief at the sight of civilisation, keep an eye out for the resort signboard on the left just before a bright katun-coloured building at the crossroads. Apparently there’s a police station somewhere at this crossroads but it’s probably hiding from the shame of being so near the katun building.

A 15-minute drive through a palm plantation will bring you to the next resort signboard indicating a left turn. “Awas: Lembu!” along the way, please. Unlike Lemang, this can actually be dangerous, as the brown skinny cows having a rally in the middle of the road didn’t seem to be in a great hurry to move. Anyway, another 5 minutes or so and yahoozes, you’re there.

The Resort:

You won’t see the resort from the security gate because the civilised bits are set pretty deep within a mini jungle. There are lakes all over the place, so “Awas: Nyamuk!” Approaching the resort, you’ll also have to “Awas: Golf Buggy!” as the road cuts through the golf course.

It’s principally a golf course/club, with a host of other icky sweat-inducing activities like fishing, swimming, archery, water-sports, tennis, bike-riding etc. For those who prefer a more horizontal form of aerobic activity, there’s the lakeside chalets. Heh. All chalets have lakeside balconies.

I’m lazy. So the pictures will have to speak for themselves.


Left to right from top: Reception hut, avenue-like driveway outside the chalets (that's my car, blurred numberplate and all), snowdrop posing as a human outside our chalet, living/bed area and sliding door to balcony, view from balcony (not very private, can see neighbouring balconies), living area with ugly blue wall, lakeside view of chalets.

Petty details (for those who dig these things):

- Check-in is at 3 pm. Pig out in Ipoh first.

- Hairdryer provided! Just-shagged hair begone!

- Locally controlled air-conditioner. Ceiling fan in case the aircon doesn’t work.

- You get Star Movies instead of that crappy Vision 4.

- Ample socket points. Feel free to bring the electric steamboat, toaster oven, vibrating mattress pad…

- 2 pairs of rubber flip-flop slippers provided.

- There is no bathtub, so don’t bring a gallon of champers to soak sexily in. There is, however, a huge tempayan and senduk if you wish to bathe the traditional way. Useful also as a handy prison for your hyperactive child while you have a nap.

- Easily sleeps 3 (1 king-sized bed and 1 comfortable sofa) or 4, if you don’t mind 3 people on the bed. Snerk.

- Chalets with odd numbers face the evening sun but have a better view with a mountain range and the Anna & the King set on the far side of the lake.

- Room service ends at 9pm!!! There’s a minibar, but without the bar. BYO munchies!

- You get 50 golf balls per day, so bring a club or two to impress your adoring audience with how good you are with your shaft and balls. Snerk.

Bang for Your Buck:

The rack rate for weekends is RM400 per night. That is if you’re a silly foreigner. I think I was quoted RM255 per night at first, but with an HSBC credit card, I got RM205 per night. That includes breakfast for 2 and 50 balls per night.

Don’t expect a buffet breakfast. You pick from a set local or “American” menu. Watery juice and crappy coffee notwithstanding, the local stuff is probably more value – huge portion and actually quite nice.

Service:

A bit lembab in the comprehension of simple queries through the phone (housekeeping), but the response time once the lightbulb comes on, is pretty quick. Booking can be done via email and was efficient on the part of their KL marketing office.

Surroundings:

Speak, pictures!



Recommend?

Yeah baby! Oklah, not with quite that much enthusiasm. But still, it’s near enough to Ipoh, so you can have a relaxing holiday AND pig out on yummy cheap food (RM18 for dinner and lunch for two, where to find??). There’s no shortage of physical activity to keep you busy in the resort itself. Do-able as a weekend get-away, since it’s only a 2 ½ hour-drive from KL. We had fun. Things are always that much better when you’re with someone you love.

Last picture, specially for Jay…now THIS is a predatory look. Heehee.

Snowdrop goes for a swim whilst Spot stands guard over the precious ballgown.