Oh you grapefruit reject.
What curse of abnormality spurred your freakish growth?
I thought you were an apple. You bluff.
Even though you appear to be a contestant for Mr. Chinese Pear Universe, there was enough pity in my heart for me to bring you to work yesterday.
There on my desk you sat, in your yellow enormity.
Would I get lockjaw in my attempt to bite you?
I ate a Snickers bar instead.
This morning your lacy styrofoam muscle top was sluttily slipped down.
"Pear. Fresh Fruit."
Oh giant yellow fruit. You mock me.
How I hate how siap you are. There is no equivalent English word for that. It's that teeth-on-chalkboard feel that Coke leaves on my teeth.
And now that I'm resigned to having to tackle you, you bedevil me!
Did you expect me to eat you unwashed?
How dare you make me slip on a 2 cm-wide mini puddle of water outside the pantry? In front of spectators!!!!
AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Now my knee hurts, my ankle is twisted and my left butt and thigh muscles feel wierd.
Laugh, you effing freak of fruitdom.
See how you like it when you get tossed out of my moving car later this evening.
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11 comments:
HWAAAAAAA...your freakin fruit ate my comment!!!!! uhuks. nemind, i post again. hrrmph!
anyway, what i was saying was AAWWWWW.... you poor baby!!! *shayang shayang*
HATE your fruit. oh, and don't throw it out the window.. bring it home let me CINCANG it smallsmall tonight. and then flush it down the loo. hrrmph!
Are you sure you want to do that? The fruit obviously has evil powers. What if it sumbat the loo?
I need to poop everyday, you know.
hmmm... okloh if like that, though that was the reason for the cincang-ing in the first place. but i guess you would get more pleasure out of flinging the damn thing out the car window.
kesians and sayangs aside, love this post! and love the new layout!! too bad it wont let me comment in colour =*
*raised eyebrows*
let me adopt it. i adore wicked pears.
btw, "siap" is gritty..right? no?
I dun like pears oso....You should have brought it over and I could have turned it into "thong sui" by boiling it with "loh hon ko". More palatable, yah? Then we all get to lanyak the evil, gritty one that's been reduced to a mushy pulp in the "thong sui".*evil laugh*
BTW, love this post. Very funny. Just what I need in my hour of need....to laugh. :)
From she who not suka pears,
The BoobJuicester
Aiyak.. dun waste, dun waste.
Pears, I like.
Fresh or soft and lembek in tong sui!
Eh, in Ms Reads, the Vietnamese Salad got pieces of pear in it with veges and a peanutty dressing. Nice wat!
eer... i thought "siap" is more that rubbery-latex-y-make-your-teeth-feel-like-got-a-kesat-film-on-them feeling of the skin? no? well, that's what i dislike about some fruits anyway.
hedo - eeeyer...why you like evil fruit wan?
boober - i got two more at home...
wandernut - i think it'd be ok as slivers in a salad...but just the thought of biting a whole chinese pear (no such problems with ang moh pears) just makes my teeth feel like doing the twist.
Anyway, said offensive ginormous pear was eaten yesterday evening. Rest assured that it was a savage bite each time. Strangely though, it wasn't as siap as I'd imagined.
No lah, siap does not translate to gritty. There's no physical grit. I get the same feeling with grape or starfruit skin, some types of banana, coke...
Imagine gnawing a balloon. That kesat feel, as snowie says. Like that. There's another malay word with no exact translation.
HAHAHAHAHA...
so, who bought those abnormally grown yet evil and slutty pears?
HAHAHAHAHH! Poor pear. Tak pasal-pasal kena. =)
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