Two movies I'm interested to actually watch at the cinema -
Perhaps Love, starring Jacky Cheung, Takeshi Kaneshiro and some China chick. The recent interview in the Star makes no mention about the obvious comparison with Baz Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge.
Come on, who are you trying to kid? It SO screams out "Moulin Rouge". No amount of playing "Ai...mei yo... Hem(n?)...mei yo" is going to suggest otherwise.
Memoirs of A Geisha, starring Zhang Ziyi, Gong Li and *mock gasp* our very own DATUK Michelle Yeoh. Damn HSBC and its promo billboards. Unless you're going to give me, your loyal cardholder and enslaved loan-servicer, a hefty discount to watch, don't bother promoting a movie that's only premiering in January 2006 lah. How rude! Yes, wingedman, I not only steal your line but copy the picture. Nah, here's some traffic in return.
"I shiau destwoy you" says someone on the trailer. Dunno who, but I suspect it's Zhang Ziyi. But it cracks me up all the time, so I have to mention it here.<-- Aiiii....Kelemumur (dandruff)! I shiau destwoy you...
Michelle Yeoh plays a mamasan. But how can her horseface even approximate a Japanese geisha? Don't bluff.
I'll place bets though, that she'll be the one with the most nuanced performance, if not Gong Li.
Turkeys
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I watched a couple of turkeys recently.
Troy, starring Brad Pitt and Eric Bana.
It sucked balls. But wait...some of my readers might actually think that's a positive thing. Let me put it another way...Pout pout, pose pose....Hector, Hector, I shiau destwoy you...pout-pose.
I imagine that Brad's surfer dude Achilles would send Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft into unbecoming fits of convulsive snorts and laughter. Long hair is so unflattering on the man. I cite Legends of The Fall in irrefutable support.
Helen, the face that launched a thousand faces, was played by someone with a face not worth writing home to Troy about, much less making the effort to whisk her off thereto.
The Trojans, apparently, were wild about tie-dye. Fancy that.
Homer must be turning in his grave at the association of his epic Iliad with this honking turkey.
The only person worth watching was Eric Bana and his portrayal of Hector. What a man's man! A vast improvement from his Bruce Banner in ...
The Hulk, directed by Ang Lee
The tale of a very un-jolly green giant. NGGGARRGGH...HULK ANGRY...HULK SHIAU DESTWOY YOU...
Has anyone ever wondered why, despite busting out of his human clothes when he turns into Hulk, his underpants don't similarly rip apart?
I didn't even finish watching it. Bad. Acting. And See-My-Nifty-Comicbook-simulating-Multiframe-Camerawork just doesn't translate well into moving pictures. Bleh.
9 comments:
LOL. Yes, I always wondered why Hulk never broke out of his underpants. And Ang Lee did a bad job of directing that film - it's a comic book adaptation, not 'Crouching Tiger'.
Looking forward to 'Perhaps Love' (one of my favourite directors), but 'Geisha' is another matter. I have problems with Hollywood translating anything East Asian.
I read somewhere that the director took inspiration from the movie version of Cabaret, the one with Liza Minelli (I nearly typed Milli Vanili!) in it. Besides, Old Shaw Brothers movies used to have musical numbers in them too, you know. >)
spot, michelle yeoh's part is not a mamasan, but an accomplished geisha who became a mentor to novice geisha zhang ziyi. but yeah, she dun look an ounce like the image i had in my mind when i read the book. and zhang ziyi looked too cina! she even retained her cina hairstyle! so un-geisha...
am waiting for perhaps love too...
Aiks.. no hawwy potter? *pouts*
HAHAHAHAHAAH!
I shiau destwoy you.
Oh gawd... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Totalllllllly agree with you on those two turkeys. Troy was absolutely excruciating, and way too long. Hulk was just dumb.
That Zhang Ziyi - is there ANY mainstream Chinese movie out there that she's not in?
Jay, Westerners seem to think Ziyi is the world. Epitome of Chinese beauty, etc. So any mainstream Chinese films that feature her to be released internationally will be a 'guaranteed hit', so to speak. I don't doubt her talent, but I just don't think she's all that.
Bertha - Hollywood translating anything is just ... off. Usually. :)
Shryh - Ya, read that too. But just from the trailers and the central theme - love - it just smacks too much of MR. :)
Sue - OOo.. like in Crouching Tiger. Very cina meh? Actually, I can't really tell the difference btwn Zhang's kind of cinak and the fantasy Japanase schoolgirl type.
Hedo - Havent even seen the 3rd movie. That ginger-haired kid just got too ugly and is therefore an effective deterrent. I'm shallow like that! ;)
Wandernut - Glad you see my point. I say it softly ever so often to myself just for the knee-hugging kind of amusement. Say it with me...
i shiau destwoy you...
Jay & Bertha - Wouldn't Gong Li be the epitome of Chinese beauty? With her moon face and demure half turns. Actually, I think Maggie Cheung is the more realistic icon.
Spot - that's always my reply whenever someone comes up to me and goes on and on about Ziyi. It's like, hello? Have you seen Gong Li? Better yet, look at the goddess that is Maggie. ;)
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