She's a Meanie

You can always count on the current US President to take the art of looking like an imbecile to greater heights within minutes of opening his mouth.

Some background. Helen Thomas is a legend amongst the American press. She’s made a career of terrorising US Presidents from the front row of the Washington press room. Yet her trademark “Thank you, Mr. President” at the close of each session is regarded as a ceremonial ritual.

A veteran of the Washington press corp, she’s had every president since JFK (that’s about eight) squirm under the onslaught of her truth-seeking laser.

With only, until a few days ago, one exception.

Baby Bush has studiously avoided taking any questions from Helen Thomas ever since he appointed himself Luke Skywalker of the Free World. He’s even banished her from her front row bastion right to the back of the room.

It might be useful to note that Helen Thomas is 86 years old and has been described as “just about the height of a hobbit”.

On Tuesday, Georgie the Invader finally took a question from the little old lady.

Here’s how it went.

LITTLE OLD LADY: I'd like to ask you, Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is, why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet -- your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth -- what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil -- quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?

THE MIGHTY LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD: I think your premise -- in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist -- is that -- I didn't want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong, Helen, in all due respect --

LITTLE OLD LADY: Everything --

MIGHTY LEADER: Hold on for a second, please.

LITTLE OLD LADY: -- everything I've heard --

MIGHTY LEADER: Excuse me, excuse me. No President wants war. Everything you may have heard is that, but it's just simply not true. My attitude about the defense of this country changed on September the 11th. We – when we got attacked, I vowed then and there to use every asset at my disposal to protect the American people. Our foreign policy changed on that day, Helen.

You know, we used to think we were secure because of oceans and previous diplomacy. But we realized on September the 11th, 2001, that killers could destroy innocent life. And I'm never going to forget it. And I'm never going to forget the vow I made to the American people that we will do everything in our power to protect our people. Part of that meant to make sure that we didn't allow people to provide safe haven to an enemy. And that's why I went into Iraq --

LITTLE OLD LADY: They didn't do anything to you, or to our country --

MIGHTY LEADER: -- hold on for a second -- let me --

LITTLE OLD LADY: ---

MIGHTY LEADER: Look -- excuse me for a second, please. Excuse me for a second. They did. The Taliban provided safe haven for al Qaeda. That's where al Qaeda trained and--

LITTLE OLD LADY: I'm talking about Iraq.

MIGHTY LEADER: Helen, excuse me. That's where -- that's where-- Afghanistan provided safe haven for al Qaeda. That's where they trained. That's where they plotted. That's where they planned the attacks that killed thousands of innocent Americans.

I also saw a threat in Iraq. I was hoping to solve this problem diplomatically. That's why I went to the Security Council; that's why it was important to pass 1441, which was unanimously passed. And the world said, disarm, disclose, or face serious consequences --

LITTLE OLD LADY: -- go to war --

MIGHTY LEADER: -- and therefore, we worked with the world, we worked to make sure that Saddam Hussein heard the message of the world. And when he chose to deny inspectors, when he chose not to disclose, then I had the difficult decision to make to remove him. And we did, and the world is safer for it.

---

As is to be expected, all the king's horses and all the king's men whipped out their superglue the next day and pretty much painted Helen Thomas as a meanie. Yes, that little old lady.


It’s a wonder, how a man so deficient in logic, basic English and knowledge of geography managed to get elected for a second term.

Clinton lied about his sex life. It cost him his job.

Baby Bush lied about …gosh, the list is endless, but let’s just start with Iraq, it being the flavour of the decade.

It was an invasion, NOT a (blech, gag, hiss, puke) "war on terror".

Resolution 1441 was passed only after Baby Bush convinced them that Saddam was hoarding WMDs.

Saddam Hussein did not deny the inspectors. The inspectors couldn’t find anything. No surprise there, since the WMDs were obviously so well hidden… inside Baby Bush’s mind.

The inspectors asked for more time to look. In Iraq, unfortunately. If they’d known that they should instead search inside Baby Bush’s mind, it would have been over in a blink. Said mind being so tiny, after all.

Baby Bush said no and ordered the inspectors out of Iraq.

And Iraq was invaded.

Apparently that makes the world a safer place.

The weapons inspectors have discredited the claim of Saddam intending to menace the world with his WMDs. Colin Powell has since distanced himself from the honking pile of baloney that Georgie still steadfastly clings to as his standard talking points.

Lies that cost tens of thousands of lives, hogged and continues to hog CNN and diverted political attention and resources away from managing a hurricane that destroyed one of America’s grandest old cities and displaced hundreds of thousands of impoverished people. The majority of whom, more half a year later, are still homeless.

Clinton lied about a blowjob and lost his presidency.

And this baboon remains the "Leader of the Free World".