Holiday No. 4/05 - Part Penang

Early this year, Snowie and I decided that we should try to get away for a major vacation each year. We’d just done Sydney-Hobart-Melbourne in April/May 2004. This year, the original plan was to spend a couple of days at Pangkor Laut. Unfortunately, the Great Singapore Sale beckoned in June and given the kind of shopping we were expecting, we decided to cushion the pocket by splitting the annual vacation into a few local getaways.

First holiday was to Cherating in May, followed by Singapore in June. In July, we went on the Secret Holiday in Ipoh.

Last weekend, we unleashed ourselves on Penang and Ipoh (again!).

Friday, 14th October
11.30 pm.

Tomorrow we take our time lah, no rush, right. It’s only a 4 hour drive anyway.
*starts up Age of Mythology game*

Saturday, 15th October
5.30 am.

@!#$%@! screwed up game Artificial Intelligence. Easy is too easy, but Medium is !%#$%@# unplayable. #&&^@$!!!…..zzzzzz.

10.50 am. Wakes to a patiently waiting Snowie.

zzz…zzzkktzzkttt…*#@!!! Why didn’t you wake me earlier??

12.45pm. We’re off from Jalan Duta toll.

Checked into The Northam in Penang slightly after 5pm. HSBC offers a promo rate of RM173 nett per night in a Studio Suite.

Our suite was on the 35th floor, which turned out to be one of the smoking floors. Decided that it shouldn’t be that big a deal and didn’t object. The crows of omen circled lazily above.

The Northam is just literally a stone’s throw (unless you have weak arm muscles) from Gurney Drive. Best thing about being in a studio suite on such a high floor is the wall-width bay windows looking out over the water. Forgot to take a photo.

Jeng Jeng Jeng. Snowie discovers a welcome gift in the 2nd bathroom (having a 2nd bathroom in a studio is truly a baffling waste of space. Although useful, if one wanted to poop discretely). The toilet seat was splattered with dried-up, aging urine. Waytago, housekeeping! Not.

Hissy fit on the phone to housekeeping ensues. Toilet gets cleaned.

Headed out to Penang Road for dinner. First stop, the famous Teochew cendol located in a lane with the street name starting with K. You must understand that our navigation of Penang streets was agreed to be by way of “simply tembak”.

So…for cheap (RM1.30) and yummy cendol in Penang, look for Lorong Kheng Kwee, off Penang Road. The coffeeshop at the side of which the stall stands also has very good Penang Laksa. The fish paste in the laksa is thick enough to stand your chopsticks upright in, and the hae ko is menacingly black and gooey. Feel slightly sick thinking about it. Right next to the stall is an aunty who sells all manner of typical Penang “phneah”<-- why it’s spelt that way I don’t know. Wouldn’t “peah” suffice? Anyway, her kacang tumbuk and heong phneah are damn good.

Next stop, Lebuh Kimberly for hawker food. If you’re not familiar with Penang and aren’t insane enough to simply tembak, I’d suggest parking the car and walking to these places. We weren’t really in the mood for internal organ porridge, char kuey teow or kuey teow thng, and had no clue which were the good stalls. As all good travel guides should tell you, when in doubt, observe where the locals go. We picked a ramshackle stall set in a lane with great potential as a Shangri-La for rats. A group of we-are-SO-merchant-bankers guys were already seated alongside a stripey shorts & t-shirt uncle and his beer. Outside, a girl in a motorbike helmet waited with the zen calmness of one who knows the worthiness of a damn good tapau. A capri panted, huge handbagged aunty arrived soon after to place her order and chatted pleasantries with Bike Girl. We were set. It had begun to drizzle, so we ordered our noodles to go. This gave us a good view of the plating-up process. Err…surely that’s not it…3 slices of char siu and a honking piece of liver? Bleugh.

Turns out that the secret (as with the rest of the ingredients) is in the sauce. Given the portion size and quality, RM3 per person was terrific value. Wandered around the little sidelanes and ended up on Campbell St. Mall where I took this picture. It was just after the breaking of fast for the Muslims, and the atmosphere on the street had a nice, established OLD small town feel.

On the way back to the car we chanced upon a packed tim sum shop at the end of Lebuh C-something. Near Chowrasta Market. Tim sum! At night! Yayzes! Made mental note to revisit.

Back in the hotel, we ate, napped and woke up just in time for supper. By which time, my nose felt like an ashtray and we reeked of smoke. I whipped out my imaginary FBG (BG being Big Gun and you can imagine the rest) and took out the goddamn omenous crows.

Hissy fit ensues in lobby. We get upgraded to a Junior Suite for both nights. Go me!

The difference between a Studio and a Junior is that there is a sliding door btwn the bed and the living area. Everything else is exactly the same. Not worth the extra RM30-40. Here’s some pictures of the Junior. Clockwise from left - Work desk to justify classification as a Business hotel (sofa & armchair hidden in foreground), view of bedroom from bathroom (note the jacuzzi!), view of bathroom from bedroom, view of water from living area window.

So midnight finds us heading to Song River Restaurant, which really, is yet another collection of hawker stalls only a 1-minute walk from Evergreen Laurel Hotel on Gurney Drive. I've never seen any other place selling not just roast chicken wings, but massive roast chicken thighs too. I think one of the more popular things to eat is lala and other double kiap shellfish 'cos there were piles of shells on every other table. Blek. Anyway, the mission was to get Roti Babi! It's basically minced pork-stuffed deep fried french toast, to be eaten with a 5-spice & cili padi dipping sauce. YEE-UUMMMM. RM2.50 per piece (there are 2 pieces in this photo).

Back at the hotel by 1 am and we ran the jacuzzi to play. Sadly, by "play" I mean nothing of the carnal sort. You know how dogs will hump a pillow or any available human leg, but not its dependable toy; the comfortable old shoe? Yeah. Old shoes. That's what we are. Heh.

Note about using bubble bath in a Jacuzzi. Do not use more than half of what you’d usually need for a normal bath, unless you want to be swept, naked and shivering, out of your bathroom by a monster tidal wave of foam. Am convinced that movie scenes of people reading whilst serenely sipping champagne with an artfully arranged towel on their head are nothing but a big honking lie!

In reality, Snowie’s towel turban kept falling off, we were busy trying not to lose buttock-grip with the bottom of the tub and avoid drowning and it was impossible to have foam/bubble-free hands to hold a book with. So apart from turning into water-soaked prunes, what else is there to do in a bubble-filled tub? Play. Here’s how -->

You have no idea how long that bubble hat stayed intact on my head. Amazing stuff.

Sunday, 16th October

Having chomped on phneah and played scrabble until 5 am, the next day began only at 11am. So much for tim sum in the morning, my friend, the Oracle of Penang, was due to pick us up for lunch at 12.30 pm. Lunch being chicken rice, fried kuey teow and lotus root soup at Toh Yuen coffee shop next to the Woo Hing Rolex shop on Campbell Street.

The Oracle is a Penangite lawyer who knows almost everybody on the island, as evidenced by the fact that she's always acknowledging someone the moment she walks into every establishment I've been to with her. A walking food index, you name it - coffeeshops, hawkers, nasi kandar (in front of Hotel Merlin), bak chang, apom (on Burma Road), which waiter at Thirty Two (excellent set lunch) is gay - she knows.

Our Roti Babi hang-out was pooh-poohed. Apparently Penangites don't eat the commercially available version cos it ain't made correctly. Real Roti Babi filling is made of crab meat and minced pork, kononya. I am admonished for not giving her advance notice, otherwise her mum would have whipped up the real McBabi.

"You KL people will eat anything", the Oracle pronounced, sadly shaking her head. Off she whisked us to the best place for daytime char kuey teow - in a Pulau Tikus (misnomer - no islands or rats in sight) coffeeshop in front of the market (opposite Tucky, another Penang coffeeshop landmark). Conveniently, around the corner from said coffeeshop is Poh Seong, the crockery wholesaler from whom we could get a replacement for the bowl Snowie broke. She then showed us a jam-free route to get off the island on Monday - the Oracle was on a roll!

Left to our own devices after lunch, we headed for Tean Ean, a one-stop shop for local products (read tourist trap) across the road from the hotel. Mission: stock up on their housebrand of minyak urut. Forget nutmeg oil, their medicated oil smells way better (like sarsaparilla! Imagine smelling like Sarsi) and works wonders for our elderly aches and pains.

Next stop, Zurina’s boutique. This little shop on Jalan Chow Thye, just behind the Northam, is one of the Oracle’s best recommendations, a must-do on every Penang trip I’ve made. Back when I still needed the uniform, I’d get perfectly cut, crisp, white Brooks Brothers shirts from Zurina’s for RM60. Here’s a secret – the factory that makes Made-In-Malaysia but international standard Brooks Brothers is located in Penang. Zurina also stocks other brands like Esprit, Nautica and Burberry for men and women, but with a focus on men’s clothes, all at factory outlet prices. She also has cut-price branded fragrances. Kaa-ching kaa-ching!

Three shirts (Esprit, Burberry & some unfamous brand), 75ml of Elizabeth Arden’s Fifth Avenue (RM165), 120ml of Polo Blue (RM180 – that’s the RRP for 75ml!) and RM555 poorer, we left the shop and headed to town for another cendol fix. Then on to dinner at a hawker centre in Pulau Tikus, where we had a char kuey teow, a kuey teow thng, 2 popiahs and a prawn mee between the two of us for about RM12 total. Happy bellies!

Sadly, there was to be no Roti Babi for supper again, ‘cos we got there just as the stall closed. Entertained thoughts of knocking on the Oracle’s door at midnight and begging for a fix.


Monday, 17th October

The most important thing to do the moment you wake up on a day on which you’ve taken leave from work, is to spare a thought for your working colleagues, then cackle maniacally as you roll around the bed making pillow angels.

We checked out at 12.30 and headed to Pulau Tikus for lunch at the Oracle-approved coffee-shop. RM3 per plate of CKT, with prawns and squid. A definite must-come-back, the noodles were surprisingly light (unlike the usual heavy, greasy feel that Oracle-poohed CKT have) and didn’t leave a garlic plantation aftertaste. On to Poh Seong where Snowie got a porcelain vase and my replacement bowl (which turned out to be one size too small. Tcherk .).

Left Penang at 2pm with these thoughts –

Penang is an excellent combination of Singapore and Malacca. Being from Malacca, it’s always been a sore issue with me on what an embarrassment Malacca has become, in terms of heritage. It sends me into minor fits to see how the old Peranakan shophouses and heritage buildings from the time of the Dutch and Portuguese occupation have been massacred variously by crass commercialism, neglect or garishly cartoony colours (neon pink, toxic orange and Buncho blue).

The old trades of the rent-controlled buildings at the heart of Georgetown appear to have been relatively preserved, and walking through the narrow, albeit traffic-congested, streets, I get the feel of what Malacca was like in the early eighties.

What I love about Penang, is the way multi-storeyed living has been embraced. You see tall condos and low-rise walk-ups scattered all over the inner suburbs amongst stately bungalows, mostly in unique designs, unlike the high-rise clusters of rectangular, garish-monotoned blocks you get in KL. I like the colonial street names and the leafy avenues. The combination, together with the old bungalows, brings to mind what I imagine New Orleans to be like (from Anne Rice’s books!). The only thing I can say about where Malacca went wrong, is that it fell into the wrong hands. Another factor? Penang is old - Chinese - money. What a difference that makes.

Last note. I hate having a lousy navigator when I’m driving. It drives me nuts if you can’t read a map properly or fast enough for me. We’ve stumbled upon the best compromise. I navigate and Snowie drives. She doesn’t fly into a raging fit when accidentally navigated into a wrong turn. And I’m better at translating maps into actual directions. Perfect.

I like the little reasons for falling in love all over again. And it’s always the side-excursions of life that give rise to these occasions.

Thanks love, for making the trip what it was.

Continued: Part Ipoh